Animals Article:

What Not to Say When a Person is Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Written by Edda Bevilacqua

When a person is grieving the loss of a pet, sometimes that loss is treated as less worthy of support than if someone is grieving the loss of a person. This is known as disenfranchised grief, often regarded as inferior or socially unacceptable. Three things one shouldn’t say to someone who lost a pet are:

It’s just a pet: Some people believe grieving the loss of a pet is excessive, socially unacceptable or unprofessional. People form strong bonds with their pets. When that bond no longer exists, it hurts a person deeply.

I know how you feel: Sometimes people mean well when they say this but, occasionally, it becomes a way to turn the story to their own grief, which stops the flow of conversation. Instead, one could just give the grieving person a hug or say, “I’m here for you if you need to talk.” Sometimes, just being there means everything to a grieving person.

You can always get another one: This is an attempt to fix a problem. Sometimes, people may not be ready for a new pet right away. Every animal is an individual, one not easily replaceable.

Things you can say and do include:

• Remembering the pet and calling him or her by name
• Asking what they miss most about their pet
• Say you’re sorry
• Let a person know it’s okay to show emotions and keep the pet’s memory alive.

The most important thing one can do for a person grieving the loss of a pet is to be there for them. Let that person know they, and their pet, mattered.